Thursday, January 19, 2012

Mixed...

Ugh.. I just don't know what is WRONG with me lately... well, ok, yeah I do.. but I don't really know WHY... I feel so badly about my moods... I get so depressed that I just don't care about anything, then within the same breath I'm snapping the heads off of my kids... *cries* They don't deserve to have this happen every day... Gah... I just can't stop... I can stop myself before I get really really bad.. but just in yelling and screaming I'm causing harm... I don't want to.... :( I have a feeling it's due to the Abilify that the pdoc upped... I was feeling pretty hypomanic before the tweak... and then I got really depressed... for about 2 days.. and since then I've been so angry about everything... I felt "okay" for several days, just angry but no other big issues, and now I'm angry, irritable, agitated, and depressed... And excited and talkative and some days plagued by a million different ideas at once.... Thankfully not today.. but yesterday I had a thousand and one ideas for my jewelry, the house, organizing... but lacked the energy to do anything... Bleh. I hate this. I can't wait until my appt next week... If I could, I'd try and squeeze in today, but my doc isn't working today.. And I don't feel like seeing someone different..

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