Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I wish...

I wish I knew what to do about the whole being social thing. It's getting better, it really is. I don't go into a panic when I know people are coming over, and for the most part, I don't panic when I have to go see someone else anymore. But now, my worry is that I've spent so much time afraid to do things with people, that no one wants to see me anymore. Almost like they've given up because I've said no so much in the past. And part of my problems are that 1> I can't see well at night and most of the time my friends want to do things at night. 2> I'm still a good bit paranoid that I'm going to get carjacked (again) if I drive by myself, especially at night. It's hard to deal with. Most of my friends can't do things during the day. Makes it very hard on me. I'm thankful for the friends I do have that make time to hang with me when I can. I have an awesome friend that always comes to my house, never complains that I don't come to her place... she really is awesome. I guess I worry that if I ask other friends out during the day, they're going to say no, just like I used to say. And I don't want to deal with any rejection, even if it's just simply because they can't get away from kids/work/life. I feel like I"m at an impasse with the social aspect of my life. I want to make it better. I want to ask people to go do stuff, and be asked in return. Just not sure where to start.

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