Sunday, April 3, 2011
Meds change.. yes, again..
*sigh* So I'm on yet another med change. Pdoc pulled the Topamax and kept me on Abilify. I was having a hyperthermia reaction to being on both at the same time. Trouble is.. I feel the Topamax was stablizing my moods, pdoc says no, it was the Abilify.. But the Abilify makes me irritable. And we've stopped the Topamax so now, I'm cycling again. I was in a happy mania mood yesterday followed by irate mania mood today.. I just can't win. My next appt isn't until end of May and I'm going to have to make an earlier appt. She refused to prescribe me anything for the anxiety that comes along side the mania and I'm at my wits end. She doesn't want to give me a "downer" med while I'm on the ADHD "upper" med and while I fully understand not wanting to confuse or overwhelm my body that way, I NEED it some days.. What am I supposed to do on those days where I'm crawling out of my skin? Let my kids and husband suffer because I'm so on edge that I can't stop word vomit that comes out? I'm so beyond frustrated right now, and the mania isn't helping one bit. I just don't feel rational about anything and I know it'll pass soon but it feels like forever while it's going on.. and I know it's happening and I can't stop it. This blog post is mainly to get it all out, document what the Abilify is doing so I can go back and look a little later to tell the doc.. Next few posts will prolly be this way, helping me to track my moods, I hope.