Monday, December 5, 2011

Bouncing around..

Bouncing, yeah that's a good term for my emotions lately. I feel numb one second, blah the next, then happy, then just ok.... I'm just bouncing all over. I think it's time for a med tweak. I'm going to ask that I be taken off the Zoloft and that we add Wellbutrin instead. I seem to have so many things swimming in my head and I just can't sort through them. Everything from wondering why I can't seem to make and keep friends in real life, to self esteem, to dealing with PSTD, to sorting through past abuse issues.... Having a very hard time making heads or tails of it all. Good thing I have started my therapy back up... I hope it helps.

Monday, November 21, 2011

HUGE step...

Taking a huge huge huge step outside of my comfort zone. I am holding a jewelry show at my house to display my jewelry and hang out with everyone. I'm terrified! It's not that I worry no one will buy anything.. if they don't, well they don't, and I'm just out the money for snacks and I had a good time with friends.. I'm terrified that no one will show up. I have done "parties" in the past... things like Pampered Chef, that sort of thing... and had my mom show up. And that's it. And then I'm out all this food and left feeling very upset because no one wants to drive out to my neck of the woods.. I'm terrified that no one will want to come this way. I know it is a self-esteem issue. It's something I struggle deeply with. I worry that if no one shows, it reflects on how people see or feel about me.. Which is silly... but not at the same time. I just hope that I can pull this off, have people show up and have a good time and not panic about it... I know I'll be a ball of anxiety.. I'm already feeling it now that the invitations have gone out. I already have people saying they'll come.. which is awesome! But I have this thought in the back of my head that everyone will cancel at the last minute. I can only hope that won't happen and try really hard to think only positive outcomes... Can I do that? God I hope so!

Sunday, November 13, 2011


The craft show was a bust :( Only sold one necklace.. oh well.. People just don't appreciate high quality hand made items anymore it seems... Got lots of complements but no bites.. Left me feeling really depressed about it. I want my jewelry to get off the ground even more so than my artwork.. Art I KNOW is very hit or miss.. you have to have JUST the right market, but jewelry I would have thought with my "talents" would have taken off so much easier. It really leaves me questioning myself. I LOVE LOVE LOVE to make it.. And selling it seems second nature.. and I get quite a few "off Etsy" sales so my shop doesn't really reflect my success.. but I want it to be bigger, ya know? Maybe it's more that I just want to be a success at something? I dunno... Ok, enough rambling..

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Happy Hatch Day to meeeeeee.....

So for once, I'm excited and happy about my birthday.. Going to lunch with a friend, then a party tomorrow at my mom's. :) Won't get my present til next month. I preordered the new Kindle Touch! *squeeee* I'm excited, can ya tell? :) One think about birthdays, I never feel older... Age to me, well.. it just doesn't work the way it does for everyone else. I swear for the most part, I feel like I don't age. It's hard to describe. I don't worry about "getting older" the way normal folk do. I don't fret over another year... usually it's just "another day"... Weird... Ok, enough rambling.. I gotta eat breakfast..

Monday, October 10, 2011

I don't understand it....

So I'm depressed today. REALLY depressed. I don't get it? I've been stable for 3 months (rapid cycler normally). With as many meds as I'm on, I shouldn't be depressed. I feel like I'm not worth anything, nothing I do matters, my stuff sucks, no one appreciates me, no one wants to be my friend or see me... You name it, I probably feel it today.. *sigh* What gives? The kids are home for Fall Break, which is making things extra hard for me as well.. they are so hyper and I really don't want to deal. UGH! I just want to give up on it all today.. Screw my artwork. Screw my jewelry. No one wants to buy my stuff. Screw the kids and the diet and the biomed... making bread every other day sucks. Screw the housework. It just never stays nice. Ever. I feel like crawling out of my skin today.. I haven't felt like this in so long... I just want to cry. I don't get it! I just don't understand where this is coming from???? I feel alone. I feel like no one gives a flying flip. I feel so scrambled up today. I'm so worried about tomorrow and the mammogram and what they will or won't find... I feel grayed out and faded, but with jagged sharp edges at the same time. Can't I just escape it all? Sleep through the day? Curl up on the couch and ignore life around me? Everyone else seems to ignore me.. why can't I do the same? I'm so upset over how I feel today... So confused.

Sunday, October 9, 2011


Still having a blast creating artwork and jewelry :) I really get such joy in creating something new. I'm having a sale on both shops right now. 10% off in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month. Use coupon code PINK10. My jewelry site offers free shipping to US and Canada :)

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

I wish...

I wish I knew what to do about the whole being social thing. It's getting better, it really is. I don't go into a panic when I know people are coming over, and for the most part, I don't panic when I have to go see someone else anymore. But now, my worry is that I've spent so much time afraid to do things with people, that no one wants to see me anymore. Almost like they've given up because I've said no so much in the past. And part of my problems are that 1> I can't see well at night and most of the time my friends want to do things at night. 2> I'm still a good bit paranoid that I'm going to get carjacked (again) if I drive by myself, especially at night. It's hard to deal with. Most of my friends can't do things during the day. Makes it very hard on me. I'm thankful for the friends I do have that make time to hang with me when I can. I have an awesome friend that always comes to my house, never complains that I don't come to her place... she really is awesome. I guess I worry that if I ask other friends out during the day, they're going to say no, just like I used to say. And I don't want to deal with any rejection, even if it's just simply because they can't get away from kids/work/life. I feel like I"m at an impasse with the social aspect of my life. I want to make it better. I want to ask people to go do stuff, and be asked in return. Just not sure where to start.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Learned something new!

Did you know that low testosterone levels can lead to constant fatigue, feeling cold all the time, mood swings, depression, not to mention the obvious and well known? Explains a lot about my cold sensitivities, increased fatigue, and well, everything. I had my levels tested.. they are rock bottom low! The doc wants to start injections right away. My moods have been fairly stable thanks to the meds I'm on... but I have no drive to do anything, I feel bored all the time.. Almost like depression, expect I'm really not sad or blah... just bored. *shrug* So hopefully the injections will improve a lot of things! I'm tired of being bored, being cold at 76 degrees, feeling so so so tired. I can't wait, tomorrow is my first one. I will let you all know how I feel after it's had time to work.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Seems like forever...

Seems like I'm very hit or miss on the blog entries lately.. I guess that's because I have nothing of import to say? :) No, usually those are my good days and I have nothing to complain about. ;) Things have been especially good the last week or so. Aside from some physical issues, that is. I'm battling the migraine monster still mostly on a a daily basis. I've had to up my meds. Though I did manage 2 days with out any pain! We're back to needing it today unfortunately. My fibromyalgia is flaring severely. I'm so very tired all day long and I really have to force myself to keep up with some of the house work (the big stuff like kitchen and vacuuming). The less noticeable housework goes right out the window. Oh well. I'm proud of myself for what I DO get done. It's a big thing for me. I still lose my temper a lot, it's something I need to work on. And the anxiety is bad. That I will need meds for, I just haven't found a way around that. Will be switching Pdocs soon too. My new appt is mid-August. Hoping I like the new Pdoc and that he can help with all aspects of what I deal with. Maybe he'll have an even better solution, one that helps with temper as well? Who knows. We'll find out soon enough. I have had several days where I finally felt HAPPY most of the day. What an incredible feeling. Not that high mania happy. Just happy. You know, wearing a smile, laughing at a joke, teasing the husband, being a goof just because I can... Happy. I just hope I can keep that feeling here. Please please please let me keep that feeling!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Safe Happy Place.... ?

There's a saying everyone knows.. "Find a safe happy place..." and usually when you hear it, it's meant in jest, someone pictured rocking back and forth with a look of fear or what not on their face. But I really must wonder... Does a "Happy Place" really exist? What would it looking like? Feel like? It's been so long since I've really been truly happy. I mean I get a glimpse at it every now and then.. And I'm, over all, not UNhappy... I guess... But I'm not truly happy. I don't really know how to get there. I'm really not even sure of how that feels anymore. How do I recognize a happy place if I'm not sure what happy really is? I think I was once. But did I have a happy place then? How do I get back there? I want to be happy. I want to think to myself, "Ah... this is life" with a smile on my face. I need to feel it. I wonder if others have that. Do you? Do you have a happy place? Do you consider yourself to be a happy person? Is it really there? Can I really have that for myself? I know others can't do it for me... but can I get there on my own?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Battling the Friendship Monster... again.

Friendship trouble is a recurring theme in my life it seems. I wish I knew how much of it was "me" and how much of it was other people. I have a lot of online friends and acquaintances. I love many of my online friends. I really do, I connect with them. But there are many days when online just doesn't fill the need for company. The few friends I do have, I see sporadically, they all have busy lives. What frustrates me is I do try to keep in touch and attempt to be more socially outgoing. I'm trying my best. But outside of a few people, it doesn't seem to do much good. I don't know if it's because I'm just not trying hard enough, or because they have busy lives (so completely understandable!), or if they just don't want to have a "real life" friendship. I'd be cool with that but I'd want to be told. One can get really resentful when a friendship appears to be "one sided". I don't want to be resentful. I know that some of the issue I have is that I "burned bridges" and it takes a while to get back to being ok with seeing me. I understand that too. I screwed up with a lot of my friends. It's really hard to maintain friendships when your moods are 90 miles a minute, and even harder when you don't realize that your moods are the problem, when you don't recognize what's going on... I've had lots of issues in the past (and some in the present too) that caused me to rip a big ol hole in many friendships. It's made me look "unapproachable" I'm sure too. On a bad day I brood and glower and no one wants to be around that. I try to watch for it, so I can stop myself from doing it. It's hard, I'll admit.

I don't know, maybe there's a reason I'm so bent on having friends. I see others get together and it makes me a bit jealous. Kind of sad really. Maybe what I really want is acceptance? There has to be some reason for why I need to have friends.. And it is a need really. I feel the need to be a social creature, I crave it. Which is funny, seeing as how I totally suck at it. I dunno, it's something to think on, that's for sure. And maybe there will be a post or two about it later as I dig deeper. For now, I'm ever so grateful to the friends that are in my life now, even those that I don't see in real life.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

4 years ago...

It was around 10 pm on the 4th when I really knew it was time. But I didn't want to get my hopes up. I mean, I'd had so many "false starts" in the last 2-3 weeks. So I called the midwife to let her know, and told her I'd be going to bed to rest. She was a bit skeptical, I don't blame her. About midnight or so, the contractions woke me up. I couldn't sleep. They weren't super close together, but I just knew. So I called my mom and she came over to keep me company. We let Richard sleep for a while and we sat up timing contractions and talking. As they got stronger and closer, we decided to wake Richard up and I called the midwife again to updated her and let her know this was "really" it. The contractions were getting pretty big, I decided to labor over the corner of my bed, on hands and knees, to make sure she wasn't "sunny side up". I rocked and moaned and groaned away while my mom and Richard watched on. At some point I demanded Richard call the midwife again and tell she needed to be here soon. I got up and got into the shower for some relief, helping my baby to come down further. I stood in the hot water, rocking and swaying through contractions until I was tired and got out to dry off. The contractions were really powerful now and I decided I needed to sit down for a bit. I don't really remember how, but I ended up sitting on the floor in a shirt and covered in a blanket shaking. The midwifes, Kim and Melissa, and Corinne, the apprentice all arrived and noticed I was in full blown transition. We got me up to the bed to check and I was a 9 to 10ish. There was a struggle to get the bed at least partially covered for the birth. Partially, because I REALLY didn't want to move. Then I felt pushy. I was side lying when I delivered the bag of waters. Melissa and Kim were so excited because the bag still had membranes. I have to admit it was cool. Melissa broke the bag and I got up on knees and my birth ball and rocked, trying to push while Melissa held my hand and provided some reiki energy (she was such an immense help to me). My baby just wouldn't move though. I knew what to do though. It was this immediate realization that I had to flip over to get her under my pubic bone. So I dived bombed onto Melissa. There I sat, in an inclined "C" position, half sitting, half laying down, Melissa behind me, Aimee behind Melissa, my mom behind Aimee (all on the bed) then Richard at the very back to keep everyone from falling off. It's amusing to think about it now. With each contraction I pushed and then she crowned. I held that crown as long as I could, a good 2 minutes or so, and then out came her head. My body by this point was so exhausted. Then suddenly the contractions just stopped. There was no urge to push her fully out. I immediately put my hand to my nipples to stimulate more, then rubbed my belly, neither of which worked. I knew she needed to come out now, so I reared back with my hips off the bed and pushed with all my might and out she came into Corinne's arms! (Corinne's first "catch"!) I put her to my breast as soon as she was breathing and crying marveled at how gorgeous she was (not to mention how big she was). I bled a good bit and they gave me shepard's purse and pitocin to help. When all was fineI handed my sweet Morrigan over to be weighed. She weighed in at an even 8 lbs. Such a big girl. She nursed like a champ! Richard flitted around snapping pictures of us in our messy glory and then I got cleaned up and snuggled into bed with Morri and Richard while the midwives cleaned up. I had some very tiny tears inside and was told to lay with my legs together for a day or two and they would heal up with no stitched just fine. My body was very worn out and a bit in shock (just like in Braeden's birth) and I passed out several times. All in all it was such an amazing birth and the fact that it was my last, well, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. I am so blessed to have had the best midwives ever and the best birth ever.

And now 4 years later, I have this amazing girl with a "tomboy diva" personality. I can't believe she's my last baby. Happy Hatch Day Morrigan!!! Such a big girl!!!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

New Jewelry Blog! Please follow :)

I have decided to separate off my personal blog and create a new Jewelry blog for updates from my shop, as well as informational posts on the metaphysical aspects of the gemstones I work with. I hope you will follow me over to the new blog and stay a while with me.

Alone in a Crowd

I've been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about where I fit. Not fitting in in general, necessarily, but just.. where I fit within a group or set of friends. Ok, maybe that is "fitting in". I have this fear, you see. I'm terrified that I don't belong anywhere. I put a lot of stock into belonging, or "fitting in", being accepted. I've been thinking of that a bunch. I think it boils down to one thing really. My self-esteem. Well, really, my lack there of. I have none. I'm terribly shy unless I'm incredibly comfortable around a person, I'm withdrawn... This comes off as bitchy. Or unapproachable. Or just plain in a bad mood. I get very uncertain of myself when I walk into a room and I'm not greeted or noticed. I was mentioning to my husband this morning that there's a beading guy who is always at the shows I go to, he has amazing prices. Anyways, I go to a show maybe every 3-4ish months. He ALWAYS remembers me... Not necessarily that he remembers where he's seen me, but he always has a "Hey, I know you from somewhere." comment.. I find that amazing. I told my husband so, that it's not like I'm a "memorable person" or anything.. His comment was "Well, too yourself anyways". That really struck something within me.. It's true. I don't think I really view myself the way others do. I never have. I have hated myself for so long that it's become second nature to me... And while I don't "hate" myself now.. All those feelings and insecurities are still there, cemented into my very being. And I can't get rid of them no matter how I try. I just assume I'll never be that person, the one that "lights up a room" or is the "life of the party" or the one that everyone gravitates towards because they are just that great.
Now I have to give myself credit, I have improved a bit in this area. I used to think of myself as this ugly and untalented girl who no one loved. I know that isn't the case... It's a step in the right direction. But... Where do I go from here? When do I get passed the need for acceptance, the need for belonging? I want to know that I can walk into a group of friends and be happy just being there instead of second guessing whether they want me there. I wish it were as simple as having people take notice or come up and hug me, include me into their conversations, show me they want me there... but I know I'd still feel that way. Until I can increase my self-esteem, those actions would only take me so far. Problem is, I don't know HOW to like myself. It's not as easy as flipping on a switch and saying "I'm going to like me from now on." At least, not for me it isn't. I don't know if it's Bipolar land peaking out.. Or if it's just me dealing with who I am. My guess would be a bit of both... And I know, I know I really should bring this up to a therapist, not just to a blog full of strangers (though I'd like to think you guys are more than "strangers" since you actually read my stuff and all...). I plan on starting my therapy back up this summer, when I have some one to watch the kids.. Therapists and small children in the room, well, they just don't mix.. and as a mom of 3.. Babysitters are not easy or affordable all the time..

I think what it boils down too.. I want to see me they way others see me.. but I don't know how others see me.. Does that make sense? I think I'm babbling at this point.. I need to find some way to work on this.. A way to keep me from getting in the way of myself too.. At this point, I'm my biggest enemy.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Is it Normal?

Is it normal to be normal? :) So things have calmed down immensely here, I'm very thankful to say. I've begun finding the pleasure and happiness in everyday life again, not just the highs and lows anymore. Not a lot has been going on, so there's really hasn't been much to report. I'm just living it out I'm happy to report. We were able to welcome my new nephew into the world last week, which is big! I was able to be a part of that, for which I am deeply honored. It's really weird to be on the "other end" of that team this time around, instead of the one giving birth. Brought back amazing memories for me. What amazes me even further is that even as tired as I was after (only 3 hours of sleep!) I didn't descend into the "pit of doom" that I expected to. Usually no sleep and I do NOT mix. At. All. I just feel so much more even keeled. I am enjoying my kids, my husband... It's nice. Nice to be "normal" for a change. The only bad thing to report is that my headaches and fibromyalgia are flaring, as I'm out of fibro meds.. but I am hoping that will change soon. Even those don't pull a huge weight down onto me though.

I've been working on a bunch of new jewelry lately. Loving the time I get to do that. Just finished 2 stunning necklaces that I haven't listed on Etsy yet. But I promise to do so by tomorrow. ;) I have had some custom orders lately. Makes me smile!

So all in all, things are good here. Holding on to hope that they continue! I'm "due" for a cycle soon so now is the time to put the meds to the test. I will appreciate any healing energy, positive thoughts and prayers sent my way that the meds keep doing what they should... This could be the start of a very good thing. :)

~Just Me

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

on my way...

back down to normal.. This was an abrupt cycle up and it ended quickly... Very weird.. I spent some time rereading everything I've written in this journal.. wow... The patterns are very obvious now to me, and I recharted all my highs and lows... I'm def. a rapid cycler. Started a new med per the Pdoc yesterday. She squeezed me in to an appt and I was very on edge when I got there. I became really agitated really quickly and was just plain angry that she wasn't listening to me properly and not seeing what I was seeing. I finally got her to state that she agreed with my previous dx of bipolar though, which isn't something she's done yet. She just kept asking me what I was seeing... so frustrating when I had JUST told her. Made for a very irate appt. She wanted to in patient me because I was so on edge and irritable but I told her there was no way with 3 kids that was going to happen. Her arguement was that they could manage meds and monitor side effects much easier that way and they'd be able to stop the high. We settled for trying Depakote again at a higher dose. I was on a low dose for migraines at one point and it aggravated my highs because it wasn't a strong enough dose. I'm hopeful this time around. Hopefully now that I'm getting back to normal I'll stay that way and won't go "down". We'll see! Here's hoping.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Meds change.. yes, again..

*sigh* So I'm on yet another med change. Pdoc pulled the Topamax and kept me on Abilify. I was having a hyperthermia reaction to being on both at the same time. Trouble is.. I feel the Topamax was stablizing my moods, pdoc says no, it was the Abilify.. But the Abilify makes me irritable. And we've stopped the Topamax so now, I'm cycling again. I was in a happy mania mood yesterday followed by irate mania mood today.. I just can't win. My next appt isn't until end of May and I'm going to have to make an earlier appt. She refused to prescribe me anything for the anxiety that comes along side the mania and I'm at my wits end. She doesn't want to give me a "downer" med while I'm on the ADHD "upper" med and while I fully understand not wanting to confuse or overwhelm my body that way, I NEED it some days.. What am I supposed to do on those days where I'm crawling out of my skin? Let my kids and husband suffer because I'm so on edge that I can't stop word vomit that comes out? I'm so beyond frustrated right now, and the mania isn't helping one bit. I just don't feel rational about anything and I know it'll pass soon but it feels like forever while it's going on.. and I know it's happening and I can't stop it. This blog post is mainly to get it all out, document what the Abilify is doing so I can go back and look a little later to tell the doc.. Next few posts will prolly be this way, helping me to track my moods, I hope.

Monday, March 28, 2011


To be at peace in any endeavour,
we must release our need
to control the outcome.

~ Diane Dreher (from 'The Tao of Inner Peace') ~

Release. It's something I have a VERY hard time with. Release of of the past, release of anger, release of control. To be at peace... I'd like that, to be at peace... So to be at peace we must RELEASE the need to control the outcome.. release the need to control, release the need to control... The need to control the outcome of our day, to control the outcome of our children, of our lives. RELEASE the need to control. RELEASE. Well.. that's great.. but how? How do we release the need to control? How do we find this peace? Well.. I think the key is to find and concentrate on the joy, not on the control. If you live for joy, live life for the sheer happiness of it your focus will shift and you will begin to RELEASE without even being aware of it..

Live in Joy

Live in Joy, In love,
Even among those who hate.

Live in joy, In health,
Even among the afflicted.

Live in joy, In peace,
Even among the troubled.

Look within. Be still.
Free from fear and attachment,
Know the sweet joy of living in the way.

from the Dhammapada, Words of the Buddha
he way.

I found my joy in jewelry making.. a sheer JOY in working beads.. and it does give me the ability to release control from certain aspects in my life. Things have been more at peace than before.. Now I need to practice RELEASE of control in my jewelry business, I need to get back to simply doing it for the sake of pure JOY. Making creations that just simply sing out from with in me as I always have, just because it makes me smile, just because I have to touch and feel the stones, work the beads, keep my hands busy, pouring positive energy into what I do. Simple and pure JOY. SHIFT..... RELEASE..... Peace.

~Just Me
FaerieNotions' Gems

Friday, March 4, 2011

Internal struggle...

I'm at war with myself... I feel an internal struggle between the need to create simply for the joy of it, doing things in my own style, my own way, and the need to to create for profit and success of the business. The latter involves a compromise though. It involves changing the style of my jewelry to a more desired, more mainstream "popular" look and fashion. While I guess I'm not fully against it, it's just not me. I create because I love it. It's just that while I do have confidence in the fact that my work is good, looks great, and many people compliment it, compliments aren't purchases.. And success I guess is measured by profit and purchases alike. I haven't had any purchases of late, there for haven't been able to purchase any new materials.. so I'm exhausting what little bit I have in stock.. It's very frustrating and I think that is the main cause behind this latest episode of measured success. Really, how do we measure success? Am I a successful jewelry designer? Talented? Sure, I can toot my own horn there.. :) I don't mind doing that at all! (And that is saying something, I'm not a horn tooter by any stretch!) But success, that I just don't know about.. and I don't know if I can compromise myself to make that success happen.. ahh... way too much to think about on this rainy afternoon...

Sunday, February 20, 2011

some grand post here....

I feel like I should be writing grand and earth shattering posts here... and that people should be riveted to my "Very Deep Thoughts" as Tori Amos would say.. But honestly? I feel so very minuscule of late. I feel... out of touch, like things don't matter, out of contact with everyone around me, and frankly, a bit like I don't matter.. I know that last bit isn't true. I'm sure it isn't, but I can't stop those feelings, especially on days like today. I watch the world around me, and it just goes by at such an amazing neck breaking speed, I can't keep up. No one seems to notice, either. Every time I try to jump in to the fray, it's like I get knocked to the floor, winded, and left in the dust. I get the urge some times to just give up on friends, to give up on socializing. I don't really fit in. Either my kids aren't "severe" enough, or I'm too weird, or my kids are "too weird" or I'm not talkative enough, or a million other things that I just don't understand... I can't begin to comprehend some days.. And then some one lends me a hand and pulls me to my feet, and gives me a shove in the right direction, to start again.... It's nice when that happens... I don't ask for it, god knows I should... but I CAN'T. I don't know why... I just can't.

I've only ever found one group where I totally fit in... and I almost lost someone from that group yesterday... It hurt... bad. And thinking about that is what brought this whole post on, I guess... I have some amazing friends.. What happens if I lose them? I chased them away once, being stupid, being bipolar, aspie, and crazy.. Didn't know it then, but I know it now, and I've worked through those "issues". So.. How do I work through my other issues to gain more friends? To become comfortable in other social groups, without thinking about how much I DON'T fit in? I guess I have to start by working on that first bit up there? By working on the "I don't matter" feelings, huh? I mean, I KNOW I matter.. I just think that when it comes to a group setting, that's how I feel... Hrm.. I really need to work on that... I just don't know how.. I hope in time, Goddess will show me.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Made a Lens

Yeah, you read that right.. A Lens.. A Squidoo lens to be exact.. basically it's an "all about something" page that squidoo has decided to name a "lens".. :) But I think it looks pretty spiffy.. It's about my Etsy shop.. trying to spread the word a tad.. so please (pretty please?) go take a look and tell me whatcha think! Don't forget to sign the guestbook at the bottom so I'll know you've dropped by!!