Thursday, May 20, 2010

yesterday

so yesterday was bad. really bad. and today isn't too much better. I came off the deplin because it was causing agitation (ever since the zoloft). I am at a loss as to what to do. Too much serotonin, and I get agitated and rages. Too little and I am severely depressed. And with the mutations I have, my dopamine is high on top of it all.. it's a recipe for disaster. And I have no way of knowing how to fix it. It's the reason why all these "mood" meds make me all wonky.. either working well at first then feeling like they no longer work (too much serotonin at that point). I spent most of yesterday crying and pitching fits, yelling at the kids when they acted out or demanded too much of my attention. Today it's the anxiety that's getting me. And to top it all off, I've been running an asymptomatic low grade fever for 2 days, fluxing between chills and feeling like my face is on fire, but my temp is staying around 99.1-99.5.. I don't get it. Just don't get it.. And I don't see any help, any end in sight. The Dr. Yasko group is of NO help, they just tell me to buy boat loads of supplements and tests that I can't afford.. I just want to escape it all, run away.. but I can't, because I can't run away from ME.

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