Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Impending Doom...

yes.. it's melodramatic. No, I can't say it any other way.. That's just what it is.. Impending doom... it's knowing the spiral down is coming, it's being out of control, it's everything in your life suddenly going wrong, and not being able to do ANYTHING about it.. It's knowing that any second.. hell, every second, SOMETHING will go wrong. This is what starts it all.. The impending doom snowballs it all, the rages, the screaming, the negativity, the impulsiveness... The implusiveness I feel must be a way to try and grasp that high I had, claw at it in a unsuccessful way to not loose control, to not hit bottom. Once the rages and screaming and satanic mothering come to an end, the depression hits and I no longer care.. I become a slug...

I've been on a high lately and I know it's ending. Everything is going wrong now. I can't keep the puppy area clean. I can't keep Roxy from messing in the house. I can't keep the migraines away, or the tummy issues, or the sickies. I can't keep the hubby pleased, the roommate happy... It's all piling down now, a thousand tons... tens of thousands... I can't stop it.. even if I knew how, I doubt I could...

5 comments:

Angela said...

Post-it note this to your forehead: Even when you don't give a damn, I do. ;) ♥ And keep my # in your phone!

Just Me said...

girlie, I have BOTH of your numbers in my phone... beware!!!!!! ;)

Kathleen said...

Praying for you! Your mask ACEO is still one of my absolute favorite things in my collection! Miss chatting on etsy, but you are not out of my thoughts and prayers!

Just Me said...

Thanks Kathy!! That ACEO just says it all about me I guess :) I love it... Yeah, etsy just got to be too much and the sales were just non-existent.. sometimes I go through these phases where I just say "screw it" and I tend to delete accounts and such..

Kathleen said...

Yeah - it's good to know your limits! I stretch myself too thin sometimes... Good to get a dose of perspective now and then! praying for you!