Friday, January 29, 2010

Death on a pogo stick over hot flames....

That is to say.. I feel like "death warmed over". Never fully understood that phrase... but it's catchy none the less... So I've got Connor's bronchitis.. Had to use the neb this afternoon. But I STILL managed to pick up the living room some, do a round of dishes, take a nap (once Richard got home), and made dinner! I'm really kinda proud of myself. I mean.. I know I'm capable of doing much more through out the day.. but hey, I got something done, which is really so much better than what I normally do during a down... which is nothing what so ever. We had a really good beef stew and brownies. The kids had hotdogs because stupid me forgot about gluten in beer, and added beer to the stew.. *smacks forehead* Yeah... This is what happens when I get sick.. my brains melt.

So... we got ice. On the ground that is. None of that nice fluffy white stuff here that everyone in N. Memphis and above got.. Nope.. Just nasty, slippery, slushy ice. Ah well.. Here's hoping the power stays on, and my neighbor's trees stay up. Mom and Dad are coming over tomorrow to pick up the boys and take them in search of snow to sled on. That should be fun. We'd have a "mostly" kid free day.. Just Princess GrumpyButt to worry about... might do her some good to have one on one time... Tonight will consist of hot cocoa, vicks vapor rub, and my love... CSI.. uh, I mean Richard.. ;) Or both...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

In the beginning..

I always like the beginning of things. Things haven't gone wrong yet, everyone is usually happy. Happiness is something I chase after.. Something I barely get my fingers around... Doesn't stay long. But then.. beginnings don't last either.

So I guess I should tell you about me, about my life. There isn't much to tell.. well, not really. First and foremost... I'm a mom. It's how I identify with the world, with myself. I'm a wife, a daughter, granddaughter, sister and cousin. I'd like to consider that I'm a friend too, though some days there aren't many of those around. I am a mixed up mess of a bunch of different things, a melting pot if you will. Bipolar, aspergers, epilepsy, illness, anxiety, ups, downs, kids, life.... They make me who I am, and yet.. I don't know who I am... not at all... I know who I WANT to be. I want to be an artist, a writer, a good mother, a good person, someone who helps others through their problems, someone who can say "I know.. I've been there... I'm here for you now". I'm trying... but nothing seems to fit. So I guess that's why I've started this blog. If I can document my journey, my sorrows, my troubles, tears, smiles, hopes and pain, then maybe, just maybe, I'll find myself along the way... Maybe others will read my writings and say, "Hey.. I feel her pain. I'm going through that too.. I'm not alone!". I can only hope. So.. It starts here... at the beginning...